Elevator Pitches for Better Movie Remakes

Good morning, friends! As we know, Disney re-made Moana, a 10-year-old movie, with no changes. Disney lowered the bar drastically on length of time since release, and degree of necessary changes. The time is ripe for these incredibly tight ideas.

Minority Report: Hanger Crimes

Three water-immersed psychics tell Tom Cruise that a crime is about to be committed.

A crime of passion hanger.

Tom Cruise gets to use the incredibly cool full-wall interactive computer again. Then it’s action time! He and his backpack of snacky-treats must dramatically run to keep society moving smoothly!

In the end, he frees the psychics and they all go to Chili’s.

Marley & Me: The Dog Is Genetically Engineered to be Immortal

Hear me out on this: what if the dog didn’t die at the end?

That’s right! Marley is still alive to this day!

There’s only one showing of this a week, in Marley’s neighborhood. When the show lets out, the audience has the opportunity to pet Marley.

Beauty and the Beast: Book Club

This entire film takes place in the library.

Beauty, Beast, and the servants look at pieces of literature and discuss them. Beast really listens to the servants’ opinions. He discovers that poor people are people, too.

He becomes a human again when he tells his employees he’s giving them respect, fair wages, and a 401K.

The film ends with Beauty, Beast, and the servants — everyone now human — making plans to storm the Bastille.

Fear And Loathing in Westworld

Hunter S Thompson drops acid and goes to Westworld.

Johnny Depp is not cast for the role.

There are more ideas where these came from!

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